Meeting Mrs Huntzberger
by TheDragonflyInn
Summary: Jess' worst nightmare has come true. Rory has turned into a society wife, the girl he knew is gone, but he can't help it, he still loves her. Luckily, Mrs. Huntzberger has no moral opposition against cheating. Is his Rory gone forever, or is she still in there somewhere, hidden behind the impeccable façade?
1. Prologue

_What if the girl you love has changed beyond recognition? What if she has turned into everything you despise? Everything she used to despise? Would you still love her? Would you stick around and try to find that girl you know is hidden somewhere within? What if you had to do it on her conditions? _

_A little warning though: Rory is waaay out of character, and probably Jess too, but it's still them, it's just the circumstances forcing them to be. Maybe they'll find their way back? Time will tell…_

* * *

Prologue

"I hate this." He watched her as she got dressed. _She_ should hate it too. The Rory he had known would never have cheated on anyone. The Rory he had known couldn't even kiss him without being drawn back by guilt all those years ago at Truncheon. The Rory he had known would have despised all the sneaking around and lying they were doing. This Rory didn't.

She smiled and leaned over him as he was still lying in bed.  
"I know you do." Her tone was slightly condescending as she ran her hand through his hair. "I know you do, but there's no other way."

_Yes there is_, he wanted to scream. _You could divorce your husband and we could be together for real_. On the inside he was screaming, on the outside he smiled towards her. It was a superficial smile, a smile that had no connection whatsoever with his heart, but he knew that if he didn't smile, if he didn't play along, he would lose her. She might not act like his Rory, she might not talk like his Rory, she hardly even looked like his Rory anymore, but still he knew that somewhere deep inside that designer-dress clad body was his Rory.

He hated himself for playing along, he hated himself for letting her talk to him in that condescending tone and he hated himself every time she walked out that door and went back to her husband. But he couldn't help it. He had tried to cut her out of his life, he had tried to forget her, he had tried to move on and those years was bar none the worst years in his life.

"Okay, so…Logan has a business trip on Wednesday, he'll be gone over night. Would that work for you?" She puts her phone/pocket computer/whatever fancy, expensive, electronic device it was in her hand bag and looks at him, waiting for confirmation.

He sighs. It always works for him, she only asks him because that's the polite thing to do. Rory Huntzberger always makes sure to do things by the book. She even cheats by the book.  
"Yeah, Wednesday sounds great."

She looks down at him from her standing position, tilts her head and smiles.  
"Ah, come on pretty boy, no pouting." She leans down and gives him a light kiss on the lips. It has to be light, otherwise the lipstick she just put on would not look as perfect as it had to when she left. They had been over that before.  
"It's just a few days until Wednesday." She blinks at him. "Oh, and remember…"  
He interrupts, knowing all too well what the next words coming out of her mouth are.  
"You call me, I don't call you." He says with a bitter tone which she conveniently chooses to ignore.  
"Exactly." She smiles. "You're getting the hang of this Jess Mariano. I told you you would." She smiles again before she blows him a kiss and leaves.


	2. The art-show

**4 months earlier**

Jess looks around the crowded room. He doesn't see a single person he would find remotely interesting to start a conversation with. He sighs and goes back to looking at the piece of art hanging on the wall in front of him.

What was it really? He had never understood the enchantment of art. He narrows his eyes and tries to really _look_ at the painting. Nope. Simply smudges of color. Like those kindergarten paintings his little sister had made and that Liz had sent him a few years back.

He looks around the room again. Where had Jake disappeared to?

Jake was a writer he got to know while he was still working at Truncheon. About a year ago he had stepped down and became a silent partner as he felt the paperwork and whatnot of owning a business took away too much time from his writing. Although, he hadn't been able to let it go completely, it was so easy for him to sneak in and do some paperwork – just to help out a bit, whenever he was in the neighborhood.

Therefore, six months ago when Jake told him a friend of his was subletting his apartment in New York, Jess had jumped at the chance, thinking it might help get his writing started.

It had really helped, the last three weeks he'd been writing almost non-stop. That was why Jake had dragged him to this art show; he figured Jess needed some socializing. Maybe he was right, but to be honest, Jess would have preferred going to a pub, drink a few beers and talk.

This, this was just so pretentious. All these people, what were they even doing here? He doubted they were here because they all loved art. Well, to be honest – he himself wasn't here because he loved art. But that was different.

He turns around to face the crowds of people in the gallery and looks around. These high society wives that couldn't care less about things like struggling artists or their artwork. But of course, going to an art show had a nice to ring to it. He could imagining them having coffee with their friends the next day, casually mentioning the art show the night before; trying to sound cultural and deep.

"Hey man!" Jess stirs as the voice of someone approaching him rips him from his thoughts. "Where've you been?" Jake adds as he stops besides him and hands him a drink.

Jess shrugs his shoulders and takes the drink from Jakes' hand. "Looking around."

"Well, you can stop looking now." Jake says with a smile and nods his head in the direction he came from. "I've found two lovely ladies that wouldn't mind going for a drink with two interesting authors when this thing is over."

Jess smirks. Wherever they went, Jake always met a lovely lady that wouldn't mind going for a drink or a dinner at a later time, and surprisingly often she had a lovely friend. Jess shakes his head. "I'm not really feeling well, I think I should head home."

"You sure? The blonde has these amazing legs..."

"I'm sure." Jess interrupts him. The lovely ladies always had amazing somethings. To be fair: Jake had good taste in women. But tonight, as most nights lately, he was more eager to get home to his writing than to flirt with women.

"Okay. Your loss." Jake says and shrugs his shoulders. He doesn't look the least bit surprised, Jess often came up with excuses for not accompanying whatever plans Jake made with the lovely ladies and their friends.

"Maybe another time." Jess says and gets a short nod from Jake as he starts walking away.

"Another time, sure. Call you later." He says while disappearing into the crowd.

Jess takes a sip of his drink as he starts walking towards the exit. With a disgusted look on his face he stops and puts the glass down at the nearest table. That could very well have been the most awful drink he ever tasted. He doesn't even know how to begin to describe the taste. Way too sweet but at the same time…bitter? Awful either way.

He picks up his walk towards the exit when a group of women across the room catches his eye. _Isn't that?_ No, it couldn't be. He tears his eyes away from the group of women and fixes his gaze at the wardrobe near the entrance a few feet away.

This isn't the first time he imagined seeing _her_ across a crowded room. It had happened all the time back at Truncheon. He would see a dark-haired woman entering the store and immediately think it was _her_; changing her mind and coming back.

But each and every time he would be disappointed; learning that is was only his imagination playing tricks with him. As he reaches the big archway separating the wardrobe and the entrance from the rest of the gallery he turns around and casts another glance back towards the group of women and more specifically a dark-haired woman with her back turned against him.

It's been years since his imagination had played tricks on him like this. _Could it really be her?_ No. It can't be. Not here. Not like that. He takes a closer look at the woman. The brown hair is put together in one of those constellations that looked like she just threw it together in a hurry before leaving home, but really took much longer to get in order. He had spent enough times waiting for women to get ready to know the time spent behind those hairstyles.

She's wearing a black skirt that ends right above her knees and a blue shirt in what he imagines is an expensive material tucked in it. The skirt fits tight around her lower body while the shirt seems to be floating free around her upper body but at the same time revealing a well-shaped figure. To make the outfit complete she's wearing high heels which make her legs look amazing, to use Jakes' choice of words.

As if the woman feels his eyes intently fixed upon her she turns around and causes his heart to take a leap in his chest. _It is her. _It is Rory Gilmore, standing across the room from him.

She doesn't seem to notice him and he sends a thankful thought to the crowd of people between them. She looks different. Not bad different, but different all the same. She looks older, more mature, and…something else he can't quite put his finger on.

Well, of course she looked older. He probably did as well. After all, it has been seven years since last time they saw each other.

He turns around to get his coat from the wardrobe. With his thoughts elsewhere he stirs when the young girl behind the counter reaches him his coat and says something.

"I'm sorry, what?" He says while incessantly casting glances through the archway and into the gallery.

"I said: have a good evening sir." The young girl says and rolls her eyes.

"Yeah." He says and takes his coat. "Yeah, yes, I will."

The young girl shakes her head and walks away to attend to another guest.

On his way out he takes one last look through the archway and his eyes immediately finds the group of women across the room. She's gone. He sighs and walks out the door.

It's a chilly night and he wraps his coat around him as he starts walking. He lives quite a few blocks from the gallery, but he feels the cold air would only do him good at this point.

What was she doing here? Last he heard she lived in California with Logan; that was before Luke had stopped mentioning her in their conversations, knowing it hurt him too much to hear her name. About the same time he had told him he couldn't come to his wedding because it would hurt too much seeing Rory again. Well, not only Rory, that he could probably have endured, but seeing Rory and her boyfriend – the man she loved.

_4 years earlier_

_"You're really going to do that to Luke?" The woman on the other end of the phone was furious and she made no effort in hiding it. "I know you don't like me, or this town, hell I wouldn't even hesitate to say you don't like the world in general, but Luke." She stresses his uncle's name. "After all he's done for you, you're just not going to show up at his wedding? You should be there." Her tone has changed from furious to accusing. "All the people he loves and cares about are going to be there, right know I can't for the life of me figure out why, but you're included in that bunch of people. You should be there Jess."_

_"Luke knows why I'm not coming." He simply says. He had spoken to Luke yesterday and Luke had told him he understood, so why was this crazy woman calling to yell at him?_

_"Yeah. He knows. You think it hurts less because he knows?"_

_He sighs. He never wanted to hurt Luke, but he couldn't attend the wedding. He couldn't stand seeing Rory there with her boyfriend at her arm, dancing with him, smiling with him, being in love with him. "I said I'll make it up to him."_

_Lorelai sighs on the other end of the phone, sounding resigned . "You better do that Jess."_

_"I said I will, and I will, okay?"He shouts before hanging up. He hadn't meant to shout at her, he knows she's simply looking out for Luke, but he feels bad for not wanting to be there at Luke's wedding. He hates himself because he's not strong enough to suffer through one day in the vicinity of Rory and Logan._


	3. Insanity

_I've re-written chapter two of this story, so I'd advise you to go back and re-read it before reading this chapter!_

* * *

Jess sighs as he gets up from his desk, which he has managed to fit into a corner of the small living room in the apartment and throws himself on the couch a few feet away.

It was useless. The inspiration was gone. It had left him at the very moment he saw her at that art-show. Almost a week has passed and he hasn't written a word; most of the time he simply sat in front of his computer and stared at it.

What was she doing in New York? Did her being here meant that she had left Logan? Or was he with her? Had they moved here or were they only visiting? Had he been at the art-show as well? Would he run into her again? What would she have said if he had approached her at the art-show? Why hadn't he?

The questions, which he had no answer to, had been circling through his mind all week, making it impossible for him to focus on anything else.

He hadn't seen Rory seen she left Truncheon that night seven years ago. He hadn't wanted to. He hadn't been able to.

He had done everything in his power to force himself to stop thinking about her; he had drowned himself in work, he had dated other women, he had gotten drunk. But nothing had helped. Someone's perfume on the bus, a smile that reminded him of hers, a set of blue eyes meeting his, a book he read, a commercial on TV featuring a voice which said a random word the same way she did; there was always something to remind him of what he had lost.

He had cut her out of his life completely. It had been hard, seeing as they, in some weird way, had become family when his uncle had married her mother. He made sure to never visit them if there was even the slightest chance that Rory would show up.

At times it got awkward, but the three of them had gotten used to it and throughout the years they had managed to keep conversations on any subject but Rory and he had almost even established some kind of truce with Lorelai, even though she would probably never forgive him for not being there for Luke on their wedding day.

He casts a glance at his phone that lies on the small table in front of the couch. He wondered what she was doing tonight; if she was at another art-show in town. Maybe if he started going to these things that Jake always tried to drag him to maybe he would run into her again. Maybe if he saw her again he could talk to her; get answers to some of those questions.

He sighs. There must be a thousand different art-shows and similar events taking place on a Friday night in New York. He couldn't possibly go to them all even if he wanted to. She could be anywhere; fund-raisers, charity-events, art-shows, and a whole bunch of other events; it was impossible.

Unless… No, he couldn't. Calling Luke and after four years of not mentioning her name suddenly ask if he knew what Rory was doing in New York and if he had any idea which event, if any, she was attending tonight was a ridiculous idea.

But he had to do something. He had to find the answers to some of those questions so he could once again move on with his life. At least he told himself that's why needed the answers.

He needed to know if she had moved her permanently, so he would be prepared to possibly run into her at occasion. And if she had, he had to know if she was still with Logan; so he could prepare himself for that.

That was all. He needed answers so he could go on living a normal life and get his inspiration back. Nothing else. He only needed to know what to prepare himself for.

If she wasn't with Logan, maybe he wouldn't even have to avoid her… No, that was dangerous grounds – he shouldn't go there. She was a part of his past, and she would keep being a part of his past – not his future.

Why hadn't he walked up to her when he recognized her at the art-show? He could have gotten all the answers he needed right there and then.

Maybe he had been too much in a shock when discovering that it was really her and not just some girl that looked like her. And he had been scared, scared to learn that she still had that effect on him; that her mere vision could stun him like that.

And that look on her face that he hadn't been able to put his finger on had chased away the last bit of courage he might have had. Coldness. Her face had looked cold. Cold and hard. Two features he would never have imagined seeing in her face.

What had she been through to put that look on her face?

A beeping sound from his phone, lying on the small table in front of the couch, brings him back to reality. He picks it up and looks at it; a text message from Jake.

_Beers at the pub tonight?_

He hesitates before answering. The pub down the street was probably not the kind of place where he would run into _her_. At least not judging by the crowd she'd been talking to at the art-show or the expensive clothes she'd been wearing. He's not sure whether that makes it a good place to hang out tonight or not.

_Sure_

He types quickly and sends Jake the answer. He wouldn't get any work done tonight anyway and a distraction would probably do him good.

* * *

A considerable amount of time later Jess fumbles with the keys to his apartment while the blonde woman with amazing legs fumbles with his shirt. After a great amount of effort he manages to unlock the door and let them both in.

The woman closes the door behind them and pushes his back against the door as she crashes her lips to his and starts ripping his shirt off. He helps her with the task and he hears her breathing heavily as he kisses her neck and continues down via her shoulders and her collarbone to the place close to her breasts where the tight, red, strapless dress she's wearing starts. When he reaches it he finds his way back to her mouth and her willing lips.

She grabs his hair with her fingers and presses his mouth closer to hers as she steps out of her shoes. He follows suit and then runs his hands down her body to grab her thighs and lift her up. Without letting go of his mouth she wraps her legs around his waist as he makes his way towards the bedroom.

* * *

The next morning he wakes up with a headache and a mouth as dry as sand. He looks at the woman still sleeping next to him, her blonde hair spread in a mess around her face. With a deep sigh he climbs out of the bed and puts on a pair of sweats lying on the floor before heading to the kitchen.

"Water." Is the only coherent thought he's able think as he opens the fridge and reaches for a bottle. He takes several gulps, almost emptying the bottle, before putting it down on the counter.

Yesterday had been a disaster. He hadn't been drinking like that in years. Now he knows why. The hangover, the girl in his bed, the hole that is probably still burning on his credit card – all of the above are well justified reasons for not to drink like that. Ever.

But he had to do something to stop himself from staring at the entrance to the pub every other second waiting for a certain brunette to walk in. He couldn't take this. Why couldn't she have stayed on the east coast, thousands of miles away?

The blonde girl in his bed had been another way of trying to distract his thoughts from Rory when the alcohol alone hadn't proved to be efficient enough.

A short glimpse, a few seconds if only counting the time he'd been sure it was actually her. That was all that was needed to mess everything up like this. It had to be insanity of some kind. Maybe he should sign himself in somewhere, get his brain checked.

He takes another gulp of water. He needs to do something to fix this, to get his life back to normal again. He needs to know what she's doing in New York.

"Is that water?" A soft voice asks from behind and he feels arms being wrapped around his body and a warm, naked body pressed against his back.

He untangles himself from the embrace and turns around, reaching her the bottle of water. His mistake, she wasn't completely naked; she had put her panties on.

She drinks from the bottle and then hands it back to him. "Come back to bed." She says in what he thinks is an attempt to sound seducing.

He shakes his head with a distant look in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I have some place I need to be." He tries to sound excusing, as if he actually would have wanted her to stay, but really all he can think of is the fastest way to get her out of the apartment.

She gives him a challenging look and puts her hand on her hip. "Really? Like where?"

"Stars Hollow."


	4. The evil clone

_Thanks for your reviews – I love getting them! They make me incredibly happy! (Hint: I want more!)_

_I decided to change the tense in which this story is told from present to past for no other reason than that I just accidentally started writing this chapter in the past tense and then was too lazy to go back and change it. But I think I'll stick to the past tense in this story, it felt better to write that way! Hope it's not too confusing!_

_And I know this is a really short chapter, but I figured it's better than nothing, right?_

* * *

_._

* * *

Jess sat in his car and watched through the window as Luke walked around the diner, refilling coffee and taking orders. This was ridiculous. What was he really doing here anyway?

This was stupid. It was a stupid whim and he should turn the car around and go back to New York and forget what he possibly, maybe thought he saw at that art show.

No, that wasn't right – definitely, certainly knows he saw at that art show.

He sighed and got out of the car. He wasn't here because he wanted to know where she lived or because he wanted to go search her up. He was only here because he needed to know. He needed to know whether he should prepare himself for running into _her_ every time he left the apartment. That's all there was. Knowledge – that was all he needed.

He took a deep breath and strengthened himself before pushing the door open and entering the diner.

"Hey" A surprised Luke looked up from his order pad when Jess entered and made his way to the counter.

"Hey" Jess nodded as he took a seat.

"Was I expecting you?" Luke asked, looking confused.

"Nope" Jess answered. "I just thought I'd drop by"

"Oh, okay" Luke looked at him suspiciously. "Have a seat, I'll be right there"

Jess nodded and pulled a book out from his back pocket and began to read while waiting for Luke to finish attending his customers.

He found it rather hard to concentrate on the reading though, there was too much memories floating around this place; memories of stolen glances between the pages of a book and quick kisses across the counter.

He put the book down and looked across the diner. At least this town didn't seem to change, it was still the same customers drinking the same coffee and ordering the same food as always. Somehow he took comfort in that fact. It felt good knowing that you could always come back here when things got to be too much somewhere else. He would never admit that out loud though.

"So" Luke said from across the counter, interrupting his thoughts. "What brings you here?"

"Can't I just drop by for a surprise visit to my dear, old uncle?" Jess tried.

"You can" Luke answered. "But it wouldn't sound very much like the Jess I know"

"Well, people change" Jess stated and picked his book up again, not quite ready just yet to jump to the reason for his visit. He wasn't even sure it was a good idea to bring it up. Luke would probably tell Lorelai he asked him about Rory, and then Lorelai would tell Rory, and… He wasn't quite sure what would happen next, but it was probably better to leave it alone.

"Yeah" Luke said and took a long look at Jess before heading back to attend to a customer.

A little over an hour passed while Luke ran around the diner as usual and Jess tried to concentrate on his book, still pondering whether he should ask about Rory's presence in New York or not.

"You want anything to eat?" Luke offered as he passed by.

"I'm good" Jess answered without taking his eyes of the book.

Luke sighed and ripped the book out of Jess' hands and leaned across the counter. "Why are you really here?" He asked and fixated Jess' eyes with his own.

"I told you: I'm here for a surprise visit" He answered sarcastically.

"Yeah, you told me, but I don't believe you"

Jess sighed. "I saw her" He said quietly and Luke stirred, obviously immediately catching on who Jess was referring to. "In New York" He added.

"Yeah. I-I didn't know if I should tell you, if you wanted to know…" Luke started, looking rather uncomfortable.

"Hmm" Jess nodded. She was back. She was in New York. This changed everything. Everything and nothing.

"Look…" Luke looked suspiciously around the diner and then bent down towards Jess' head as he continued in a low voice. "I don't know what's happened, but she's changed. She's not the same anymore. I think you'd better stay out of it." Jess looked up at him with a curious look on his face and Luke added. "For your own sake"

"The table's turned, huh?" Jess asked.

"What?"

"You used to tell me to stay away from her for _her_ sake, now it's the other way around?"

"Well…As I said: she's changed"

"Changed how?" He shouldn't be asking. He should turn around and go back to New York and ignore all this. Ignore her. But he couldn't help himself, he wanted to know. He needed to know.

Luke looked around the diner again and then gestured for Jess to follow him upstairs. "The walls have ears" He explained as he started up the stairs.

Jess closed the apartment door behind him and watched as Luke paced back and forth in front of him.

"It's that guy" Luke muttered as he paced. He looked at Jess and pointed his finger in the air, as to underline his words. ""That _Logan_ guy" The way he said 'Logan' left no doubt in mind that Luke wasn't the guy's biggest fan. "He has changed her. She's not even Rory. She's like an evil clone, pretending to be Rory. I don't what happened; she was herself when they got back from California, but then…" Luke stopped pacing and shrugged his shoulders, looking defeated. "…I don't know…something happened"

"What does Lorelai say about it?" Jess asked, not knowing how else to respond to his uncle's rant.

Luke looked completely miserable when he answered. "She's beat. They hardly even speak anymore. Can you imagine that?"

Jess sat down at one of the chairs around the kitchen table and shook his head, trying to take the information in. Rory and Lorelai – not speaking? No, he couldn't imagine that.

"And you know what else?" Luke continued and Jess got the feeling that he had a pent up need to discuss this matter with someone. Someone other than Lorelai. "I bought her a book for Christmas. _I_ bought her a book. I actually went into the bookstore and asked Andrew which shelf she used to spend the most time at, and he helped me pick out a book for her" Luke turned to face Jess and his face was turning red as he continued. "You know what she said? You know what Rory Gilmore, the girl who used to carry a book with her everywhere, you know what she said?"

Jess shook his head, even though Luke's rant offered a few conclusions.

"She said: 'Thanks Luke, but you know, I don't really have that much time to read anymore' and then she put the book aside"

Jess stared at his uncle with eyes wide open. This couldn't be true. Sure, people can change, but Rory wouldn't let go of her books, she wouldn't stop reading. It was part of who she was.

"Don't have that much time to read" Luke repeated. "That's not Rory" He said, putting Jess' thoughts into words.

"Huh" Jess said, completely lost for words.

"Oh, and she was here yesterday" Luke continued his rant. "Came driving into town in this fancy little newly-washed silver Porsche" Jess pondered for a second how newly-washed could be a bad thing, but decided he better not comment on it. "She invited us to some charity event she was throwing in Hartford tonight. Lorelai said we were seat-fillers, now I don't know what that means, but obviously it's not a good thing, so we said no. You know what she said then?"

Jess shook his head.

"She said we could at least come to the party afterwards, 'cause there they would probably even serve beer. You should have heard the way she said beer, just like her grandmother; as if it were a poisonous drink. How could you judge someone based on their preference in beverages?" Luke finished his rant and sat down on a chair across the table from Jess.

"Huh" Jess said again. He couldn't think of anything else to say. This was too much to process. Not only was Rory back on the east-coast, but she had changed, tremendously.

They sat in silence for a while, each of them preoccupied with their own thoughts. They both stirred when they heard a soft knock on the door and Lane's voice as she called Luke's name.

"Yeah, in here" Luke said and stood up from the chair.

"I'm sorry to interrupt" Lane said and casted a glance at Jess. "But Kirk's downstairs and he refuses to let anyone other than you make his toast" She rolled her eyes at Kirks silliness.

Luke looked at Jess.

"Go" He said. "Looks like Kirk needs you"

"Yeah" Luke said. "So…you're okay?"

Jess nodded and Luke left the apartment.

Lane, on the other hand, lingered around, shuffling her feet in front of her and looking at Jess. He looked at her with raised eyebrows and a questioning look on his face.

"I'm sorry" She said as she made her way over to the table and sat down next to him. "Umm…" She hesitated for a few seconds, but then continued. "I kind of overheard you downstairs…did you meet Rory?"

"Yeah, well I sa–" Jess started but was interrupted by Lane.

"How was she? Did she look okay? Did you talk to her?" Lane threw the questions at him with a rapid speed.

"I didn't talk to her" He said and saw Lane's face dropping. "So, you're not talking to her either?" He asked confused, referring to the 'hardly speaking' thing Luke described between Lorelai and Rory.

"Well, she…I…" Lane started. "No" She continued and let her shoulders drop. "We kind of had a fight"

"Huh" Jess said yet again. That seemed to be the only response he could come up with at this time. This was the last thing he ever expected.

He had gone over it in his mind a thousand times, how it would be to see her again. What her life was like now. A thousand different scenarios, but this one didn't even slightly resemble any of them.


	5. The best-selling author

_Thanks for the reviews I've been getting - they mean a lot and I love getting them and learning what you think of the story!_

* * *

Jess leaned over the fence of the balcony and inhaled the smoke from his cigarette. He had stopped smoking years ago, but at times he allowed himself a little setback. This time the setback wasn't due to an overwhelming need for a cigarette or a (always wrongful) memory of how good it tasted. This time he simply needed something to do with himself and smoking on the balcony had seemed like a good enough excuse to slip away and allow him to be alone with his thoughts.

It had been a wild shot, but he wasn't surprised that Jake had managed to sneak them both into the charity event's after party. There was a woman whom Jake went on at least three dates with that knew somebody that knew somebody else that was in charge of the guest list and Jake could be extremely charming and sweet when he wanted something.

Of course, Jake had been surprised at Jess' sudden want to go to a charity event in Hartford of all places, but he hadn't asked too many incriminating questions. And besides, it was his prerogative as a writer to be a bit mysterious at times, at least that what Jake said when he tried to weasel himself out of the few questions he had asked.

Maybe it had been a mistake coming here. What did he think anyway – that she would jump into his arms and kiss him? No, he told himself. He didn't think that, neither did he want that. He simply had to see her. All the things Luke and Lane had told him about her – they couldn't be true. He had to see it for himself; even if that meant actually talking to her.

He hadn't seen her yet though. But to be honest he hadn't looked around that closely, he had sneaked out to the balcony the minute he spotted it. He needed to figure out what to say to her, how to approach her.

A casual, 'Hey, I can't believe I'm running into you here' might be the best approach in this situation. Even though, the 'I can't believe it' part ought to come from here. He was the one that was highly unlikely to run into at a charity event, or even the party after a charity event. It wasn't really his scene.

Jess casted an irritated glance when two women made their way past him and managed to bump into him, causing him to almost knock his beer over. Neither of them noticed him however as they both seemed to be deeply engulfed in the latest gossip of Hartford's high society. He tried to ignore them, but out of spite he moved inches closer and made sure the smoke from his cigarette blew right at them.

He rolled his eyes at them as he heard them discuss whether one of their friends had had her nose fixed or not.

"I'm telling you" One of the women argued. "Her nose wasn't that thin at Donner's Christmas party. I have pictures to prove it"

"You're probably right" The other woman agreed.

Jess threw his cigarette butt away and was just about to turn around and leave when the first women asked a question that intrigued him and raised his curiosity.

"What's up with Rory tonight by the way?" She lowered her voice when she continued, but Jess was near enough to be able to make out the words. "She's being a total bitch"

Interesting, Jess thought. So she was here. He leaned against the fence and lit another cigarette, trying to look casual as he eavesdropped on their gossip.

"Didn't you hear?" The other woman asked, her voice filled with the excitement of being the bearer of news.

"What?"

She lowered her voice when she answered, forcing Jess to really focus to catch the words. "Logan's sleeping with his secretary…again"

Jess clenched his fingers, almost crushing the filter of the cigarette. He forced himself to relax so that the women next to him wouldn't take notice of his listening in on their conversation.

"The secretary?" The woman scoffs. "How very stereotype of him"

"That's merely one of the stereotypes" She gave her friend a knowing look. "They fired their gardener last week"

"Because she slept with him?" The eagerness in the woman's voice made Jess feel sick to the stomach.

"No" There was obvious gloating in the woman's voice as she continued. "Because he stopped sleeping with her"

The women then went on to talking about another couple who seemed to be having marital problems and Jess tuned out.

That couldn't be. Rory wasn't the type of girl that cheated. Rory was honest and caring and loving. She would never do that. He could easily picture Logan as the cheating type, but not Rory. That didn't make any sense at all.

But then again, nothing he heard about lately made any sense; not talking to either her mother or Lane, not having enough time to read and now this: cheating. He shook his head and went inside. He needed to talk to her. He needed to see this change for himself; it sounded too unbelievable to actually be true.

_I couldn't even cheat on him the way he cheated on me_

Jess leaned against the bar as Rory's word from that time ran through his head. Nothing made sense. Nothing he had heard about her lately made any sense at all.

He stood up straight and looked across the room, hoping to find her familiar face among the crowd. He didn't. He sighed and took one last sip of his beer before putting it away and heading for the exit. He needed to get some fresh air, away from the gossiping and gloating over other people's problems that was going on at the balcony. He needed to clear his head and decide what he wanted to do.

"Jess?" He's almost out the door when he's stopped by a voice he's all too familiar with. It's her. It's Rory. There's no doubt about it. He would recognize her voice anywhere.

His heart started pounding so hard he could almost hear it and for a second he pondered over whether he should turn around or if he simply should turn and walk out the door as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't heard her calling.

The need to see her face again won an easy battle over his want to run away and keep the image of her the way he always kept it. He forced himself to place a smile on his lips as he turned around to face her.

"Rory, hi" He tried his best to sound surprised, as if he hadn't expected to run into her like this.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she stepped closer to him.

Yeah, what was he doing here? He was here to see her, to see the change that everyone seemed to have noticed. But he couldn't tell her that. "A friend dragged me here" He said and tried to look as if he'd been dragged there kicking and screaming.

"Oh" She said and smiled. "Anyone I know?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so"

He watched her face intently as they spoke. Sure she was different, but at the same time; she wasn't. Her face had hardened and she looked older, but it was the same blue eyes that looked back at him even though they didn't sparkle the way they used to.

He felt a familiar lump in his stomach as he watched her. She was still as beautiful as he remembered her. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to see if her skin still was as soft and warm as it had been.

Neither of them said anything further and Jess got the feeling that she was examining him the same way he was examining her.

She took a small step closer to him and opened her mouth to say something when a shrill voice cried out her name.

"Rory, darling" One of the women from the balcony said as she walked up to her. She gave Jess a quick glance and stopped in her tracks and gave him another look-over that almost made him feel naked in front of her gaze. "Who's you friend?" She said to Rory with a knowing smirk on her lips.

He could have sworn he saw the very same look on Rory's face as she used to have when seventeen and Dean caught her talking to him; nervous and just a tad bit guilty. But that only lasted a second before that hard, cold look took over again.

"Charlotte, this is Jess Mariano, an old friend of mine and a best-selling author" She said, turned to her friend and then turned to Jess as she continued. "Jess, this is Charlotte McRae, a very dear friend of mine"

The woman, whose name apparently was Charlotte reached her hand out for Jess to shake it, but he was too wrapped up with thinking about Rory's introduction of him to notice her out-stretched hand.

Best-selling author? He had written one book, and as far as he knew it hadn't sold that many copies. It was definitely _not_ a best-seller. And Rory knew that. She had to know that. But maybe a struggling author that sold a hundred-something copies of his latest – and only – book a few years back wasn't as fancy to introduce to your friends.

Charlotte drew her hand back with a displeased look on her face. "Have I read any of your books?" She asked with an obvious false smile on her lips.

Jess looked at the woman. This was one of the women from the balcony. One of the women that had laughed when talking about Logan cheating on Rory – and she was, introduced as 'a very dear friend'. Jess hadn't had that many 'dear friends' in his life, but he was pretty sure talking and laughing behind someone's back wasn't a character trait that a friend should posses.

"Sweetie" Rory said in a condescending tone that he had never heard her use before. She put her hand on his arm as she continued. "I think Charlotte wanted you to tell her the titles of one of your books, so she knows whether she read them or not"

Jess looks at the woman again, this time scrutinizing her from head to toe, before he answers, mirroring the condescending tone Rory just used towards him. "Probably not"

Rory raised her eyebrows and looked at him and Charlotte merely looked confused, the insult probably flying somewhere above her head. Jess scoffed. "Don't worry, I mean that make-up and that hair, probably takes a whole lot of time, I understand there's not much time left in the day to do something as frivolous as reading"

The insult had come out rougher than he had meant it too, and it wasn't really aimed at Charlotte. He had aimed it at Rory, somehow thinking he could point out all that was wrong with this picture, with everything he had heard and shake her to the core and make her realize how far off track she was; like he had done once before.

But the look on her face wasn't shook-up or that of realizing; it was anger. Without waiting for a reply or saying another word, Jess turned around and left. He couldn't be here any longer, he couldn't look into Rory's eyes and see the lack of sparkle in them, he couldn't look at that face that he used to love and see how hard and cold it had become. He couldn't hear that voice that used to say so sweet and wonderful things talk to him in that condescending tone. He couldn't let this woman; this Mrs. Huntzberger woman, contaminate his memory of Rory.

Jess swore as he stepped out into the street and realized he had no way of getting home without Jake – and Jake was still inside. He pulled up his phone and sent a text, telling Jake to get his ass out there as soon as fucking possible, hoping that he would understand the urgency of the situation.

"How could you embarrass me in front of my friend like that?" Jess turned around as he heard Rory's angry voice behind him.

He wanted to tell her how good a friend her friend actually was, but he decided he shouldn't get involved. He should let her live her life the way she had chosen to. Anything else would be like signing himself up for heartbreak all over again. "Whatever" He answered in a tired, resigned voice. "Just tell them I'm a crazy loner, might add to the mystique, increase my popularity as a best-selling author"

Apparently realizing she'd been caught with her lie, Rory scoffed and went back inside. Jess looked at the doors long after she had disappeared behind them. What had happened to her? What had made her change? Was the old Rory still hidden somewhere inside? He thought he had caught a glimpse of her earlier – but that could very well have been wishful thinking on his side.

Where was Jake, by the way? Jess started pacing the sidewalk to keep up his warmth as he pulled up his phone and sent yet another text asking Jake to come out.


	6. An offer he can't refuse

_Just wanted to thank you for leaving reviews, 'cause I love getting them! Thank you!_

* * *

Once again, Jess sat in front of his computer, like he did every day; trying to fill the pages with words only to find out he was unable to write a single line. Every time he tried to focus he saw those blue eyes flashing before him. How could someone change like that?

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He couldn't go back to where he had been before he'd cut her out of his life. He had decided a long time ago to stop obsessing about her and what she did with her life.

For a few months after she left he had truly been obsessing. He had read every article she wrote, he had even went by New Haven a few times to pick up a copy of the Yale Daily News and get a small glimpse of her – always careful not to be seen or noticed.

He couldn't go back to that. He couldn't go back to googling her name every night before he went to sleep. He couldn't go back to that time were she was as important as the air he breathed. Besides – she was not the same. The woman he met yesterday was not the girl he had been pining for all that time.

With a determined look on his face he leaned forward again and placed his fingers on the keyboard. Work. Write. That's what he had to do.

* * *

A few hours later Jess leaned back in his office chair and read through the pages he had written. It stunk. It was the worst piece of crap ever written by anyone – ever. Even Ayn Rand could write better than that, he thought and then scolded himself for letting his thoughts dart back to that place.

_She said: 'Thanks Luke, but you know, I don't really have that much time to read anymore' and then she put the book aside_

The pieces didn't match. He wondered what book Luke had bought her, but quickly realized that wasn't the problem. Rory would have at least pretended to jump for joy even if he had bought her a Hemingway, knowing that Luke had really tried. The old Rory, he corrected himself. The old Rory would have.

No. He wasn't supposed to do this. He wasn't supposed to think about her. He got up from his chair and decided to go for a walk to clear his mind.

* * *

He had walked around the city for hours, trying to chase the image of her out of his mind. It hadn't worked. Wherever he looked there was something to remind him of her; a brunette suddenly turning a corner and making his heart leap until he realized that it wasn't her, a book on display in a store window reminding him of Luke's words or even the faintest smell of that particular perfume she used to wear, lingering in the air from someone passing by.

Jess closed the door behind him with a sigh and stopped in the hallway, pondering whether to go straight to bed or to watch a movie before bedtime. He had just decided that falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie probably was the most effective way to avoid unwanted thoughts to creep into your head before bedtime when his phone rang.

Distraught, as he walked towards the living room to choose a movie to fall asleep to, he answered without looking at the phone. "Hello"

"Jess?" A female voice asked on the other end of the line.

"This is he" He answered while running his finger along the line of movies placed on one of the bottom shelves in the bookcase.

"Hey" The voice said in a softer tone and his heart took a leap in his chest. It was Rory's voice.

"Hi" He answered as he stood up straight, not quite sure what else to say.

"I'm sorry things got so awkward last night at the charity" The soft tone in her voice is gone, she sounds businesslike; cold and efficient as she jumps directly to the reason for her call. "I didn't expect seeing you there. It ended so weird, with you leaving like that"

Him leaving like that? Jess scoffed. Didn't she see why he had left? Didn't she understand that it hurt too much seeing her like that? "It wasn't my scene" He offered as explanation, not letting his voice reveal any emotions.

"Please let's go out to dinner" She said with the pleading tone from someone who's used to getting everything they ask for. Or at least, that was his judgment, but maybe he was biased in his dislike for this new Rory.

"It'll give us a chance to catch up" She continued when he didn't say anything.

"I don't know" He answered honestly. What good could come out of having dinner with her? On the one hand the change could turn out to be nothing but a superficial act for her friends, which would most likely end up with him broken-hearted and as in love with her as he had been last time they'd met. On the other hand, the change could turn out to be permanent, with no trace of the old Rory left, which would most probably end up with him not only broken hearted but also in love with a woman that didn't even exist.

"For old time's sake" She kept trying to convince him. "It's been years since we talked"

"Maybe there's a reason behind why it's been years" He said in a dry voice.

"You sound so bitter" Her voice was accusing and he could swear there was a pout on her lips. That was if the new Rory did pout of course.

"Yeah, life can have that effect on you" He answered, getting ready to hang up the phone and go back to trying to forget all about her and move on with his life.

"I'm sorry" She said and something in her voice stopped him from hanging up. "Come to dinner with me, give me a chance to explain…and maybe make it up to you?"

Make it up to him? What was she thinking? How did you make up to someone for breaking their heart? The pain he felt and the bitterness that was always present whenever the topic drifted to love – how could she make up for that?

But he couldn't deny the explaining part was indeed intriguing. He would very much like to hear an explanation, not only to what happened between them, but most importantly; what had happened to her.

"When?" He asked and was rewarded with an excited chirp from the other end of the line.

"Tomorrow, if that works for you?" It was more of a demand than a question.

"Sure"

"Great!" She said, with the sound of someone that had just closed a business deal. "I'll have my driver come pick you up at seven"

"You don't have to…" He started but was quickly interrupted.

"Nonsense, I know where you live; I found it when looking up your phone number. I'll be there at seven"

He sighed. "Whatever"

"Wonderful" She piped. "See you then"

"Yeah" He said, not sounding even half as excited as she did.

* * *

Jess stared at his watch; a quarter to seven. It was too late for him to change his mind and cancel, she was probably already on her way over. Yeah, he thought, as if he was ever really going to cancel.

The thought of cancelling the dinner had crossed his mind more times than he could count during the day, but deep inside he knew that he wouldn't. Telling himself that he _could_ cancel was merely an act he put up for himself to be able to keep at least a small shred of self-respect.

He sighed and turned to look at himself in the mirror again. He shrugged his shoulders at his reflection and headed towards the door. He had made a deal with himself saying that he was allowed one cigarette while waiting for her. Not that he really needed it; it just felt like a good pastime while waiting.

He sat down on one of the steps in front of the apartment building and held the cigarette in his hand. Unwanted memories from times that were since long gone sneaked into his head.

_So, tell me, what's your decision about smoking that depending on?_

He shook his head to rid himself of the memory and lit the cigarette. She was married to another man – it wouldn't matter whether he smoked or not; he wasn't allowed to kiss her anymore.

Still, he quickly hid the cigarette by placing it in the pocket of his jacket when he saw a limo coming down the street and slowing down in front of the building.

He took a deep breath and steadied himself before he stood up and walked towards the car.


	7. Dinner

_Thank you for your reviews – they really motivate me to keep writing! And I love getting to know your opinions about the stuff I write!_

_It might seems like Jess' thoughts about Rory are jumping back and forth – but that's the way I intended it, to show the conflicting emotions inside of him that he's probably not even aware of himself. Tell me if you think it's too confusing and I'll try to keep them more coherent in the future._

* * *

Jess sighed as he picked up his menu. This had all been a mistake. He shouldn't have agreed to this dinner. He should have known better.

So far they had discussed the weather, she had talked about the charity event where they had met and she had asked if he had published any new material. All in a polite tone and without touching any subjects that might make either of them feel uneasy. She had even managed to talk about the charity event without mentioning his departure.

They were like two strangers and now that they had covered the weather and work there was nothing left to say. Maybe if he asked how her mother was doing or if she talked to Lane lately… He decided that that was probably a bad idea and that he should at least wait until dessert to ask about that.

"The salmon's really good here" Rory looked up from behind her menu and shot him a smile that didn't have the slightest resemblance to a real Rory-smile, but that was still genuine enough to make his knees feel weak. He was glad he was sitting down.

He nodded. "You look trustworthy" With that he closed his menu and smirked in her direction. She, on the other hand, had gone back to looking at hers and hadn't seemed to notice his reference to their very first meeting – or his smirk. He repressed a sigh and opened his menu again.

After a few more minutes of silently studying their menus, a waiter appeared next to them and they placed their orders. He ordered chicken and she didn't even flinch when he didn't follow her advice about the salmon.

"So why did you leave Philadelphia?" Her tone was still polite in a small-talk kind of way. He wanted to tell her to cut the bullshit and get to the explaining part of their conversation, but he was afraid she would leave without explaining anything if he pushed her.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I needed to get away and focus on my writing"

"Oh" She looked down at the table as if gathering courage before she looked up again. "About the…" she trailed off, searching for the right word "…misunderstanding…" She smiled, satisfied with her choice of words. "…the other night…"

Jess looked at her without saying a word, waiting for her to continue.

"I didn't mean to assume that you had kept publishing your own stuff" She nodded slowly and gracefully as if she were a queen, talking to her court. "It was wrong of me and I apologize"

He had to clench his jaws together to stop them from dropping open. She thought that was why he left? Because she had assumed he had written more than one book? She thought he was offended or ashamed over that?

"Huh" He said, too much in shock to be able to come up with an actual word.

"And I forgive you for being rude to Charlotte and embarrassing me like that" Jess could literally feel his eyes widen as she spoke. "Under the circumstances I understand your course of action"

Without thinking Jess stood up from the table, not wanting to hear another word of her so called explanation.

"What?" She furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you doing?"

"I–" He ran a hand through his hair. Yeah, what was he doing really? Wasn't this what he wanted – to see if the change was for real? "I need to use the bathroom" He excused himself and headed in the direction of the restrooms.

* * *

Jess was glad to see the bathroom empty as he stepped inside and let out a deep sigh. Why couldn't he just have listened to Luke when he told him to stay away? This was torture.

He should excuse himself and leave. He should go home and forget he ever ran into her. If he couldn't forget, he would remember this dinner. He would remember her _forgiving_ him and apologizing for the wrong things.

Hell – he didn't care about the apology: she was _explaining _the wrong things. He slammed his fist against the wall. It was harder than he had anticipated and he nursed his fist with his other hand.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down. This wasn't Rory, he told himself. He couldn't let the woman at the table out there get to him – she wasn't Rory.

He shook his head. He really should be leaving. There was no point in sitting through dinner and dessert with this stranger that couldn't even give him the explanations she had promised.

He sighed again, knowing he could tell himself he should leave all he wanted – but he wouldn't. She might be a completely different person, and the sparkle in her eyes that he used to love might be gone – but he knew there was no way he could look into those eyes and _not_ stay and hope for the sparkle to come back.

* * *

"You see, Charlotte is married to Colin – a friend of Logan's, and we actually went to Chilton together, without even taking notice of one another. Isn't that strange?" Rory asked rhetorically and Jess nodded.

All the way through dinner she had told anecdotes about her friends or things that had happened at different events she'd either been attending or planning. He couldn't keep track of the names she kept dropping as if they were names he should recognize.

She had given up on any further attempt to apologize or explain – if she had even had any further apologizes or explanations planned for that was.

Jess studied her face as she kept talking. She looked so different – but still the same somehow. The natural beauty of her face that he had always admired and loved was disguised under heavy layers of make-up.

He pondered over whether she had lost the ability to apply make-up in that natural way or if she had changed her preferences in make-up. He suspected the latter.

He wanted her to let her hair down and wash the make-up off her face. He wanted to see if his Rory, the Rory he remembered, was still there beneath it all.

Her eyes were the same big, blue eyes despite the heavy make-up around them. She couldn't hide those even if she wanted to. They didn't sparkle like they used to though and he wanted desperately to know what had erased the sparkle in her eyes. But he didn't know how to ask.

Her lips were different. It wasn't only the color that was applied on them that made them different. They looked tense, as if she was constantly trying to repress any emotion that wanted to show itself through a tug at her lips. It made them look stern, as you would imagine an old, conservative teacher's lips to look like.

Even if the sparkle in her eyes were gone, the diamonds hanging from her earlobes sparkled bright enough. But it was a superficial sparkle that couldn't ever make up for the lost one in her eyes. The diamonds were too big for Jess' taste and he couldn't help but wonder if they were a forgive-me-for-fucking-my-secretary gift from her husband.

He looked back up to her eyes to find them staring at him in a demanding, waiting-for-an-answer, kind of way. He hadn't been paying any attention to her words.

"Right?" she asked and tilted her head to the side.

He tried to remember what the conversation, or rather her monologue, had been about. Something about her friend and…that's where he had tuned out.

"Sorry" He tried to smile. "Could you repeat that?"

She rolled her eyes. "I said that I explained to Charlotte that you are my step-cousin and that we haven't met in years and it was probably the shock of running into each other that made you say those things"

He looked back at her, still confused. "What was the question?"

She sighed. "It was a good thing that I didn't mention our history together, right?"

"Right" He sighed as well. Where were the explanations she had promised him? This wasn't it. This wasn't an explanation for him – this was an explanation for her friends. Where was his explanation?

There were so many things he wanted to ask her.

What happened between you and Lane? Between you and Lorelai? What made you change? Made you stop reading? Where did the sparkle go? What about the gardener? And Logan's secretary? Is this what you wanted? Is this why you chose him over me?

_Despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it. I'm in love with him._

Is that it? Is that why you're willing to make affairs and cheating a part of your marriage? Is that why you let him change you? Because you still love him, despite everything he's done?

All of his questions remained inside his mind. He didn't know if it was because he was afraid to ask her of it was because he was afraid of the answers he might get. He took a sip of his beer and watched her take a sip of her wine as she looked around the restaurant.

"Read anything good lately?" He asked when the silence between them started to get uncomfortable. He almost held his breath while he waited for her answer; this was one of the questions that would help him determine how deep this change went.

She smiled and for a second a vain hope fluttered in the pit of his stomach. Before she opened her mouth and effectively put that to rest. "You know, I really don't have that much time to read these days"

He looked at her, trying to see if there was something in her eyes or her posture contradicting her words. But why would she lie? It wasn't as if he asked her whether she still loved her husband or whether she was happy or not.

"You don't?" He asked and she shook her head slightly. "Work's taking up all of your time?" He continued asking, even though he was fairly sure that Mrs. Huntzberger didn't work.

"No, silly" She giggled, and there it was again; that weird feeling of her not being Rory. He could see her, sitting right in front of him – but that giggle. No. It wasn't her. "I don't work" She said, sounding as if he must be crazy for even suggesting it.

"Of course" He muttered sarcastically. "So, what is it then that takes up all of your time?"

She smiled, pretending not to hear the sarcasm in his voice. "Planning charity events and dinner parties, entertaining Logan's business associates. You know, I'm on the board of the DAR Educational Program"

"Really" He stated, not the least bit interested in what she did with her time; he was more interested in what made her prefer doing that instead of working or even reading.

"Yes" She answered, not taking any notice of Jess' obvious disinterest as she started to explain what the DAR Educational Program was working towards this year.

* * *

Dessert had been served with a lecture about the Connecticut DAR chapter. Jess had been bored out of his mind but had tried to nod in the right places. On the inside a thousand questions had been screaming at him, but he had let none of them out. He had decided that it didn't matter.

It didn't matter _why_ she had changed. She was changed, and the less he knew about it the better. The questions would become silent sooner or later if he just kept ignoring them. If he asked them, that would mean he would get involved and for once in his life he had decided to take Luke's advice and stay away.

"So…" She turned around to face him as they entered the street. "It was nice catching up with you"

"Yeah" He nodded even though he didn't agree.

She smiled and hooked her arm around his. "You wanna go out for drinks…or something?"

Her 'or something' was said with a thousand unspoken promises and Jess couldn't help but get the image of the gardener being fired for not sleeping with her into his mind. It couldn't be. He shook the image away and decided that it was nothing but evil gossip. Evil, made-up gossip.

"Nah" He pulled his arm away. "I think should head home"

"Oh" She stopped and he did the same a few feet away. "At least let me give you a ride home"

He was just about to decline her offer when she pulled her phone up and dialed a number to what he assumed was her driver.

Jess looked up into the sky as he tried to decide whether to insist on walking home or letting her give him a ride. She probably wouldn't take no for an answer and he would end up with letting her drive him home anyway, so he decided not to fight it to begin with.

It wasn't long before the driver showed up with the limo and Jess wondered if he had been sitting around the corner just waiting for her to finish her dinner.

* * *

"We should do this again sometime" Rory said and smiled at him from her seat in the limo, opposite from his as they approached Jess' neighborhood.

"Sure" He offered and made a mental note to have the strength to say no the next time she called and tried to talk him into dinner with promises of explanations.

"You know…" Rory said in a low voice as she slowly switched her seat to his side of the car. "…Logan's out of town tonight, if you feel like continuing this evening…" She slid inches closer and ran a soft hand up his sleeve. "…at your place maybe."

Her voice was tempting and suggestive and Jess had to close his eyes to the questioning look in her blue eyes when yanked his arm back and answered. "You're married Rory."

"I know" She looked offended, but that only lasted a second before she fixated his eyes with hers and smiled slightly at the corner of her mouth. "…but you never been one to follow the rules before, have you?"

"I never cheated on anyone" His voice was stern and determined. He needed this car to stop now, before he did anything he would regret later. He looked out the window and recognized his street.

She moved even closer to him and her lips were just inches away when the limo came to a stop outside Jess' apartment building. "Well, technically, I'll be the one doing the cheating…"

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted it so badly. He wanted to close his eyes and forget everything he learned about her over the last week and just let his lips feel the taste of hers once again.

He cleared his throat and pushed her away. "Yeah, but with me, and I don't do that either." He took one last look at her before he opened the door and stepped out onto the street.

Dazzled by this last, ultimate proof of her change, Jess took a few steps down the sidewalk before he turned around and went back to the limo and leaned inside the still open door.

"This isn't you Rory!" He shouted, too angry to realize he was repeating his own words from another, similar time. That time it was Logan and his family that had changed her and he had seen the dawning of a realization in her eyes when he left.

This time he wasn't sure if it was Logan that had changed her or if there was something else, but there was no realization dawning in her eyes when she pointed her finger at him and yelled back. "You don't know me! You can't say that this isn't me, 'cause you don't know me!"

He sighed, feeling all anger leaving his body. She was right, he didn't know her. He had no idea who Rory Huntzberger was; all he could say was that she was nothing like Rory Gilmore.

"You're right" His voice was calmer now and no longer shouting. "I don't know you"

She looked surprised and disconcerted at his statement. "Right" She nodded and there it was, in that quick glance to her side: a nervous flicker with the eyes that sent him back in time and made him wonder why on earth he had refused to let her come up to the apartment with him.

Maybe they had a connection that went beyond everything explainable. Maybe Rory Gilmore wasn't gone. Maybe all hope wasn't lost.

He saw her looking for something in her purse and he wondered if maybe he should invite her in, maybe they could talk and he could get her to remember who she was; who Rory Gilmore really was.

She took a card out of her purse and held it in her hand. "Logan is away on business a lot" She handed him the card in her hand, which had her name and phone number on it. "If you change your mind"

He sighed. No. It had been nothing but wishful thinking on his part. Rory Gilmore was definitely gone – she didn't exist anymore.

* * *

_The next chapter is almost done, since I started writing that a long time ago, I just need to add a few things and I could probably post it by tomorrow. I would still like to hear your opinions about this chapter though...:)_


	8. An unexpected ally

_Thank you again for the reviews you've been leaving – you're great!_

_Rather short chapter this time - but at least the updating was quick :)_

* * *

The morning after the dinner with Rory, Jess woke up with all the signs of a hangover but without having done the excessive drinking that usually caused it. He stretched his arm out towards the alarm clock on the nightstand to stop it from ringing. It didn't work. He hit it again, harder this time and heard a crashing sound as it fell to the floor. The ringing continued.

Jess sat himself up in the bed and looked around to find the source of the ringing and saw his phone lit up and ringing next to his pillow. He picked it up and cleared his throat before answering. "Hello?"

There was the distinct sound of someone breathing on the other end of the line, but not a word was spoken. "Hello?" He asked again and was about ready to hang up when the person on the other end drew a deep breath and finally gathered the courage to say something.

"Luke told me you met Rory" It was Lorelai's voice.

Jess ran a hand over his face and into his hair. He hadn't expected this. He and Lorelai had gotten along quite well lately, they had to; she was married to his uncle. They were polite to each other, they discussed generic topics and they had an unspoken agreement not to talk about Rory. She had never called him up before.

"Yeah" Jess scoffed. "I've met Mrs. Huntzberger" He couldn't think of her as Rory anymore – because in his mind, she wasn't.

His statement was followed by silence and he forced himself to be patient and wait for Lorelai to say something. After all, Rory was her daughter, if they were going to break their silent agreement it had to be done her way. He remembered Luke telling him how she and Rory rarely spoke anymore and he couldn't blame her – he couldn't imagine Lorelai getting along very well with Mrs. Huntzberger.

"She's changed" Lorelai established.

"She's not Rory" He answered, mirroring her establishing tone of voice.

Lorelai seemed to be relieved to hear him agree with her, as a deep, relieved sigh was heard. "No, she's not"

Jess hesitated for a few seconds, but he couldn't resist the chance of finally getting some of the answers he had wanted from Rory. "What happened?"

She sighed again, or was that just the way her breathing sounded like now? Sad and beaten. "Logan happened" Her voice sounded dead; ridden of all emotion. "Society happened" She continued a second later. "The demands apparently related to 'being a Huntzberger' happened"

She uttered the words 'being a Huntzberger' with such obvious distaste that it left no doubt in his mind what her thoughts about 'being a Huntzberger' were.

"When?" He needed to know. This change wasn't something that happened over night.

"I don't know exactly, the old Rory stayed with me for quite long" She paused and Jess couldn't help but notice she spoke about her as if the old Rory had passed away.

"I guess it started when Logan's business in California fell through" She continued. "They moved back here, to New York, and Logan started working for his father. She had a hard time finding a job and eventually she gave up on looking for one" She sighed again. "Everyone told me she had changed; my _mother_ told me she had changed. I didn't want to believe them. I didn't want to see what they saw. And when I did…" She paused again, longer this time. "…it was too late"

"Guess your mother's happy" He said bitterly, remembering the one time he met Rory's grandmother. To him she and Mrs. Huntzberger were two peas in a pod.

"Actually she's not" Lorelai sounded surprised herself at this fact. "Apparently Mrs. Huntzberger is too much 'keeping up appearances' and 'being the perfect wife of an important businessman' even for Emily Gilmore"

Jess shook his head. "How did this happen?" He made sure his tone wasn't accusing, he didn't want Lorelai to think he accused her of what had happened with Rory. She seemed to already be doing that herself.

"I don't know. I think she played a role to begin with. Maybe she needed to, to avoid being hurt. Those 'better than anyone else' wives can be pretty cruel to each other, and maybe she needed to shield herself. It's a rough world, I should know, I grew up in it" She drew a deep, ragged breath.

Lorelai's need to talk about Rory reminded him of Luke's need to do the same and he suspected it was a subject they avoided to bring up with each other; both of them equally afraid to hurt the other.

Lorelai seemed to have regained control of her voice, for she continued. "My guess is that in the end, she lost track of who the real Rory was and she became the role she'd been playing"

That was the first thing he had heard in all of this that actually made sense. She was playing a role and she had lost track of herself while playing it. That had to mean she was still there – the real Rory Gilmore.

"Help me get her back" Lorelai suddenly blurted out, interrupting his thoughts.

Jess was stunned at her request. Was that even possible? If she had been playing this role for a long time, was it even possible to get her to stop? Was there anything left besides the role?

"She can't be happy like that, I'm sure she's not happy" Lorelai continued, trying to convince him. "And she always cared about you, about your opinions, your thoughts; they've always been important to her" She talked quickly, as if she was afraid he would interrupt her if she stopped. "I know we had our…differences…in the past, I know the …friendship, or whatever it is, we managed to establish over the years isn't exactly stable, but I really do think that if we work together on this, if we join forces, we could get her back"

He could hear tears threatening to break her voice as she continued, pleading: "Please Jess, I've tried all I can think of, every possible way, but I can't get through to her. If you care about her _at all_, if there's one tiny shatter of love left in your heart for her, this must be killing you, seeing her like that"

Killing him? Of course it did, but he couldn't even begin to understand how it must be killing Lorelai.

"Just tell me what to do" He heard himself offer without even stopping to think about it.

"I don't know what to do" She sounded resigned. "Maybe...maybe if you talk to her or…" She trailed off. "…I don't know"

"I could talk to her" He hadn't done that yesterday. He had tried to remind her of their past with a subtle hint and he had tried to yell at her but he hadn't really talked to her.

"I have her number for you" There was a rustling sound heard on the other end before she started reading number of off a paper.

He didn't tell her that he already had Rory Huntzberger's phone number; that she had offered it to him last night together with a plea for him to change his mind and support her in cheating on her husband. He didn't think Lorelai needed that piece of information.

"Jess?" She asked before hanging up, her voice sounding so small and insecure and so unlike Lorelai Gilmore.

"Yeah" He answered simply.

"Thank you" She breathed into the phone before she hung up.

Jess put the phone down and slid out of bed, pulled on the pants he wore yesterday and headed out into the kitchen, where he grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and leaned against the counter.

He took several big gulps of water before he put the bottle down next to him. Now he had made a promise to get himself involved with Mrs. Huntzberger. How was he supposed to do that without getting his heart broken – getting himself broken – in the meantime?

He was no knight in shining armor, he never had been – yet he had made a promise to Lorelai that he would try to be just that and save Rory Gilmore from the evil queen Mrs. Huntzberger.

He sighed and reached his hand inside his pocket and pulled out the card she gave him and flipped it over in his hands.

_Help me get her back_

If Lorelai couldn't get her back, how was he supposed to have any chance at it?

Why had he agreed to this?

He sighed. He knew why: because he had never really stopped loving her and if her mother – the person that knew her best – thought there was even the slightest chance to get the real Rory back, he had to at least try.


	9. Clarification

_This is not really a chapter (although I wrote a short scene at the end, to not completely waste this space), but more of a disclaimer or a clarification._

_I got a review saying that I painted out Logan to be the bad guy and I just wanted to say a few words about that and some other things._

_This story is all from Jess' point of view and the thoughts about what happened that made Rory change are all Jess' – neither we nor him knows what really happened to make her change. Yet. All we have is different people's guesses as to what happened: Jess, Luke, Lorelai – all of which is placing blame on Logan, but that doesn't mean that their guesses are the truth. _

_I won't say too much, because I don't want to give out any spoilers. But there will definitely be more depth to the change than simply stating that 'Logan changed her 'cause he's a bad guy'. _

_And the sleeping with his secretary cliché – that's gossip that Jess heard and in which he conveniently chose to believe the part about Logan and not the part about Rory. We still don't know what's really true. _

_I just wanted to point that out, so I won't lose any readers because you're thinking I'm painting Logan out in a bad light. I'm not – but Jess is. _

_And it might seem unrealistic that Lorelai would call Jess seemingly out of the blue, but there will be more interaction between these two characters later on to straighten a few things out._

_I have a grand plan for this story and everything that seems weird or out of place will (hopefully) make sense eventually._

_So, that's all I had to say for now – I hope we're on the same page and that you'll continue reading. _

_I wrote a short scene just to give you a little something for listening to (or rather reading…) my ramblings._

_* Happy New Year to you all! *  
_

* * *

Jess held his phone in his one hand and the card Rory gave him in the other. With a sigh he placed them both down on the counter before him. To hell with it all, he thought. Why should he care?

He leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. If she was happy despite the change – who was he to interfere with her life and try to change it back?

Sure, Lorelai didn't think she was happy – but what did she know if they didn't speak that much any longer? Maybe the rift between them was Lorelai's fault because she couldn't accept that Rory could be happy living that life?

She had never accepted Jess when he was dating Rory, what if it was Lorelai that had pushed Rory away because she didn't accept Logan?

Jess opened his eyes and leaned forward to grab his phone again. Before changing his mind he wrote a quick text and sent it to the cell number on the card.

_Meet me for coffee?_

He put the phone back on the table and rubbed his hands over his face. Just coffee. Coffee and talking.

If she seemed happy he would let it all go – he wouldn't interfere.

If she didn't seem happy… Well, then he would have to take some time and figure out if it really was worth the pain and heartbreak that was sure to come if he tried to intervene.


	10. Losing yourself

_I'm so, so sorry for the delay in updating! _

_Life's been pretty messed up lately, but now I'm back on track and the updating will go back to its usual frequency!_

* * *

Jess twirled his cup of coffee and stared at the table. She was running late. Of course she was. Mrs. Huntzberger probably didn't care about such trivial stuff as other people's time. Not that he had any other place to be right now.

He looked up as the bell above the entrance to the café sounded and she stepped inside. He ignored the irritating feeling of butterflies in his stomach when he raised his hand to draw her attention towards his table.

She sat down at the chair across from him and placed her order with the waitress that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere next to the table.

"So…" She waited until the waitress had left them and then she smiled at him across the table. "…I take it you've changed your mind about my…" She paused, searching for the right word. "…suggestion?"

Jess closed his eyes and took a deep breath. What had he gotten himself into by suggesting this meeting. "Not really" He answered and watched as the smile was replaced with an expression of confusion.

"No?" She knitted her eyebrows together.

"No…I…" He waited as the waitress appeared with a hot beverage in her hand and watched as she placed it on the table in front of Rory. When she disappeared again he picked up where left off. "I just wanted to talk"

"Talk" She repeated and nodded to herself.

"Yes, talk" He repeated as well to make sure his intentions were coming across clearly.

"Okay" She took a sip of her beverage. "So, how've you been?" She smiled politely across the table and Jess sighed.

"Are you happy?" He blurted out without even taking a moment to think about how to phrase the question.

"Excuse me?" She bore her blue eyes into him and he squirmed but didn't budge. He'd already taken the plunge – he might as well press on.

"Are you happy?" He repeated. "This life – is it making you happy?" He examined her face as he waited for her answer, but she didn't give anything away.

"Of course I'm happy" She sounded greatly offended. "What kind of a question is that?"

Jess shrugged. "The suggestion you proposed the other night…" He still watched her intently, and he had to give it to her – Mrs. Huntzberger didn't even flinch. "…might lead one to thinking you weren't exactly satisfied with your life"

She scoffed. "That's why we're here? Because you think I'm unhappy in my marriage?" She chuckled to herself before she looked up to meet his eyes again. "You thought you'd come riding in on your white steed and save me?"

"No" Jess shook his head. "No. I was simply looking out for a friend"

"Really?" Her eyes were filled with disbelief.

"Yes" He wasn't sure whether it was him or her he was trying to convince of his honorable intentions.

"Who put you up to this?" She asked as she leaned back in her chair. "Luke?"

"Don't know what you're talking about" He denied, keeping his gaze stern into hers as he tried to keep himself from giving anything away.

"My mother?" She continued her interrogation, having taken no notice of his denial. "Did my mother convince you that I was unhappy and miserable and in desperate need of saving?"

"Your mother doesn't like me" He honestly replied.

"Maybe not, but I'm thinking her disapproval of the way I've chosen to lead my life probably trumps the dislike she's feeling for you"

"Listen…" Jess sighed and stood up from the table. "…Yes, I asked you to join me for coffee today because I thought you weren't happy, because I thought that you had changed into something you didn't really want" He ran his hand through his hair before he continued. "You helped me out by believing in me when no one else did and I thought I'd repay you that favor today by making you realize how ridiculous this change is"

Rory scoffed and looked the other way and Jess shrugged his shoulders. "But obviously, you're in no need of my help and I'm sorry for making you take time away from your schedule , which I'm sure is very busy, to come to this meeting" With that he turned around and left the café.

That was it. That was the first and last time he would ever let himself get roped into Lorelai's drama. Rory didn't need his help. Whatever was going on between her and Lorelai it was their business to take care of

He was stepping out of it. He was taking his hands off it. He was throwing in the blanket. He was done. Yep. That was it. No more.

With that newfound determination he started walking in the direction of his apartment. He made it about half a block before he heard someone calling his name behind him.

"Jess!"

He frowned and slowed his steps.

"Jess, wait up!"

He came to a stop, turned around and sighed when he saw Mrs. Huntzberger tripping along behind him.

"What?" He asked when she was within hearing distance. He sounded irritated and he felt it too. He had made up his mind already and he was sticking to his decision to stay out of it no matter what.

She didn't say anything until she had caught up with him. She stopped inches away and fidgeted nervously with her hands as she looked at him with shifting gaze. "Maybe you were right" She spoke quietly and Jess could literally feel his determination melting away.

"About what?" He asked, sounding a little less harsh than before, but still not letting go of all his hostility and anger.

She shrugged. "About my life"

Jess sighed. She looked so small and vulnerable where she was standing in front of him. It was if she was a completely different person from the woman that had been sitting across the table from him only moments ago.

He shook his head. "I can't help you" He turned and started walking again. Whatever this was, he had promised himself not to get involved in any more drama.

He heard the clatter of heels against the sidewalk as she followed him. "You said you wanted to repay the favor" She argued, her voice on the verge of desperation.

He stopped abruptly and she almost bumped into his back. "What do you want from me?"

"Talk" She bit her lip and looked down at her feet. "I just need a friend"

The determination he felt only minutes ago seemed to have disappeared altogether and he sighed. "You wanna go back to the coffee shop?"

She shook her head. "I'd rather talk somewhere private" Jess rolled his eyes and started walking again, he wasn't buying into that. "Not like _that_" She caught up with him yet again and grabbed his arm. "It's just…there's always someone out there watching, waiting to get their hands on some juicy gossip"

"I live only two blocks away" Jess offered, still not sure he wanted to go through with this. But she looked so different now, so honest and insecure.

"I know" Her grip on his arm turned into a light touch that sent shivers down his spine as she drew her hand back.

* * *

"You want something to drink?" Jess asked as they awkwardly stood in his hallway.

"Sure" She offered a smile and he returned it with a smirk as he led her into the apartment and headed towards the kitchen.

Jess peeked his head into the fridge. "I have beer and water" He looked up. "Sorry I don't have anything fancier"

She smiled again. "Beer is fine"

Nodding, Jess grabbed to beers out of the fridge, opened them and handed her one and took a sip out of the other.

"I have a couch in there" He pointed towards the living room and they went in there and sat down next to each other onn the couch and then an awkward silence ensued.

"So…" Jess started in an attempt to break the awkward silence. "Anything in particular you wanted to talk about?"

He watched her body heave as she took a deep breath. "I don't know. I just feel so lonely, you know? Like I have no one to talk to"

"You have Logan" Jess stated, even though he hated taking his name into his mouth.

She made a sound that sounded like something in between a scoff and a sob. "Yeah. I have Logan. I and whoever of his female colleagues that gets the honor of warming his bed on his numerous business trips"

Feeling slightly nauseous at even the thought of defending Logan, Jess still gave it a try. "You don't know that"

She glared at him. "You think you know him better than I do?"

Jess shrugged, not knowing what to say to that.

"You don't" She concluded.

Jess nodded, because she was right. He certainly didn't know Logan any better than she did. After all, he was her husband.

"I have needs too, you know" She suddenly blurted out and turned to face him, obviously agitated.

Not knowing what to say, Jess reached for his beer and took a sip.

"Only because my husband is too busy seeing to other women's needs, it doesn't mean that my needs have disappeared" She explained while gesturing angrily.

Jess cleared his throat. How did you respond to that? He so wasn't the person she should be talking to about this.

"I understand that" He forced his voice to sound normal, although it was hard. Hearing Rory talk about her needs that her husband wasn't seeing to stirred up very contradicting feelings of both jealousy and want.

"Do you?" She moved inches closer and Jess could feel her breath on his skin as she talked. "Do you know what it feels like when your entire body is aching to be touched?"

Jess swallowed. He could very well relate to that feeling, yes.

She crept closer, she was almost on his lap now, but he couldn't find the strength to push her away. He was mesmerized by the feeling of having her so close. Not like that night in the limo. No, this was different. This wasn't Mrs. Huntzberger, this was Rory. His Rory.

"I just want someone to love me" She whispered, dangerously close to his ear and that's when he lost all the control he fought so hard to maintain.

He grabbed her by the hips and pulled her closer to him into a straddling position and attacked her mouth with his.

She answered his kiss with passion and as in a haze he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close as possible. It felt so good. He had forgotten how amazing it felt to kiss her. How soft her lips were.

He left her lips for a moment and ventured down to see if the skin on her neck still was as soft as he remembered it to be. It was and he lost himself in reminiscing on all of those special spots that he discovered when they were merely teenagers and making out were all they were allowed to do.

It was a good thing that Jess was all too lost in his reminiscing to see the smug smile on Mrs. Huntzberger's lips as Jess moaned against her neck, seemingly having lost every last shred of self-control.


	11. Fool me once, shame on you

_It's a terribly short chapter and it's not that much drama going on in it, but it leads to the next chapter – and that's always something!_

* * *

In a state somewhere in between asleep and awake, Jess felt the bed shift underneath him and as a reflex he stretched his arm out to pull the warm body next to him closer against his chest. Usually he wasn't that keen on snuggling, but this was different.

They had been apart for so many years and he just wanted to feel her skin against his as they drowsed off to sleep together. Feel the smell of her hair in his nostrils. He wanted to hold her and protect her against anything that might attempt to upset her or scare her. He wanted to stay like that forever.

But instead of being pulled closer, he felt her warm body moving further away, towards the edge of the bed and when he opened his eyes, she was standing next to the bed, looking for her clothes.

"Where are you going?" He fought to keep his voice steady and not as terrified as he felt. Did she regret what had just happened? Did she regret opening up to him? To making love with him?

She stirred at the sound of his voice, but turned around with a smile on her face as she was putting on the underwear he ripped off of her earlier. "Go back to sleep" Her voice was soft, but demanding in a way that didn't sound very much like the Rory he'd gone to bed with only a couple of hours ago.

Jess frowned and slid towards the edge of the bed, sitting himself straight up on it. "Where are you going?" He repeated, a bed feeling spreading throughout his stomach.

Ignoring the irritated tone in which his question was asked, Rory walked over to where he was sitting, placed herself standing between his legs and stroked his hair. "Logan gets back from his business trip today, so I have to go home"

"Why?" He looked up at her, certain that all the hurt and disappointment he felt was openly displayed on his face, but he didn't have the energy to hide it.

After what had just happened between them, she was going home to her husband? What about everything she'd told him last night? About how lonely she was and all the other girls sharing Logan's bed?

She tilted her head and let her hand slide from his hair and down along his face, cupping his cheek. "You wouldn't understand" She looked sad for a short moment before she bent down and kissed his cheek.

Annoyed with her evasive answer he pushed her lips away. "Why don't you try me?"

Her smile was playful as she stepped away. "Didn't I just do that?" She picked her dress up from the floor and started slipping into it.

He sighed and felt his heart drop. "Rory…"

Zipping herself up, she turned around to face him. "Listen, I don't know who you've talked to or what they've told you – but I am happy. I love my husband and I love our life"

"And this…?" He threw his hands out, gesturing towards the tangled sheets in the unmade bed and his clothes, still scattered across the floor.

"I was lonely" She shrugged her shoulders as if her answer should have been obvious.

He scoffed, feeling the blood rushing through his veins in a completely different fashion from the way it'd been rushing a few hours back. "Well, next time you're lonely – get yourself a hooker!" His voice was filled with all the anger he was trying to hold back.

Rory didn't respond as she grabbed her bag and started making her way towards the front door. "Or a new gardener!" He yelled seconds before the door closed behind her.

Jess sighed and sank his head into his hands. She had fooled him. The old Rory begging for his help was nothing but a trick to get him where she wanted, or to prove some kind of crazy point. She had dangled the old Rory, his Rory, right before him as a lure – and he had swallowed it; hook, line and sinker.

_I love my husband and I love our life._ Her words rang in Jess' head. It didn't make any sense. She had looked so broken and sad only a few hours ago; claiming that Logan didn't care about her and her needs anymore. But still she loved him. It didn't make any sense.

Had it all been an act?

* * *

"I'm out" Jess' voice was determined. Stern.

"What do you mean you're out?" The voice on the other end of the line sounded disbelieving and confused.

"I mean that I'm out" He clarified. "Mrs. Huntzberger can live her life the way she wants – I couldn't care less"

There was a loud intake of air heard on the other end. "What did she do?"

"It doesn't matter" His answer came fast; he didn't want to go into any kind of details. The details about how he had bought into her act without even thinking twice about it still hurt a little bit too much. "I'm out"

"You can't let her get to you" The voice sounded desperate, pretty similar to the sound Rory had had in her voice when she had begged for his help. When she had fooled him.

"Lorelai, listen…" He started. "Have you ever thought that maybe she doesn't want to change back? Maybe she doesn't want to be saved"

She sneered. "You really believe that?"

Jess sighed. "I don't know what to believe. All I know is I'm out"

"Just like that?" Her tone was accusatory. "You're giving up?"

Jess sat down on the edge of the couch and ran his hand through his hair. This was why he had ignored Lorelai's calls for the past week. She was too stubborn to ever give up. She was too stubborn to let him give up.

At least Rory had only called once since their meeting and hadn't tried again when he didn't pick up. Lorelai had called at least once a day.

"Yes" He admitted. "I'm giving up. Just like that"

He couldn't keep trying. It hurt too much. He felt stupid over the way she had fooled him. Over the way she had used him. Over the way she had quickly slipped back into her clothes and gone home to her husband.

"Guess you didn't care as much as I thought then" She muttered in a sad voice and hung up the phone.

Jess sighed as he threw his phone aside on the couch and leaned back against the headrest. Sure, it must suck for Lorelai that she and Rory had lost contact – but it wasn't his problem and he shouldn't make it into his problem either.

She'd said it herself; she loved Logan and she loved her life – she didn't need anyone to save her from it.

* * *

"Jess!" An excited voice called at him from behind, ripping his focus away from the cereal shelf he'd been staring at. He turned towards the sound and saw a tall, blonde girl making her way towards him with a wide grin plastered across her face.

Jess searched his brain. Where had he seen that face before? She looked familiar, there was no doubt he'd seen her before. But where?

He watched her hips sway suggestively as she walked and suddenly he remembered. The blonde from the bar. The blonde with the amazing legs he used to try and distract himself from thinking about Rory after he'd first spotted her at that art-show.

"Hi" He tried to return her smile while rummaging through his mind in search of a name to accompany the legs. Mary? Mindy? It started with an M, he was sure about that.

"Hi" She greeted back, still smiling. "How've you been?"

"Good" He nodded to himself. "Good. And you?"

"Good" Her smile grew, if possible, even wider. "Listen, I–"

"Michelle!" She was cut short when a female voice called for her attention from the next aisle.

Michelle. Yeah, that was it. Jess smiled, genuinely this time.

"I'm coming!" She yelled back and rolled her eyes for Jess to see. "My roommate" She explained and he nodded.

She bit the corner of her lower lip for a few seconds and then dug her hand into her bag and picked up a card. "Here" She shoved it in his hand. "It has my phone number on it. If you ever feel like…hanging out…some time again"

She smiled one last time before she bid him goodbye and went to search for her roommate in the next aisle.

Jess looked at the card in his hand and at first he thought about throwing it away. The last thing he needed right now was anymore female drama. But for some reason he put the card in his pocket instead.

Michelle hadn't seemed to be all that complicated. She had been fun, joyful and easy-going. She hadn't even been pissed at him when he stood her up in the morning in what probably sounded as the lamest excuse ever.

Maybe keeping the card wasn't such a bad idea.


	12. Fool me twice, shame on me

_I'm not sure how far you can go without having to up the rating, I think I'm on the safe side – otherwise, let me know!_

_Again: it's short. But we're closing in on the time were the prologue is happening and that's when the story really starts to take off!_

* * *

Her hands were entangled in his hair, ruthlessly pressing his mouth harder against her soft lips. A hoarse moan escaped her throat when his hands firmly stroked their way up alongside her naked waist and found her bra.

With hasty, almost desperate movements her hands untangled themselves from his hair and started ripping at his shirt. He pulled back just an inch without letting go of her lips to give her easier access to his shirt, and then in one swift move, as if it were a well rehearsed choreography, their lips parted and she pulled the shirt over his head.

Their lips quickly found each other again and Jess felt dizzy as her hands traveled across his bare chest. Her fingers felt so soft against his skin and he pressed her harder up against the wall behind her.

He had no idea how they had ended up here. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. He had promised himself to stay out of it. But he couldn't. When she touched him she stirred up a passion inside him that he didn't think he had and he couldn't think straight.

Rory had showed up at his doorstep and it wasn't long before they'd found themselves in this position; her pressed up against the wall by his eager body, shirts, blouses and bras falling to the floor in a frantic haze. And he had no recount as to how that had happened.

No matter how it had happened he didn't want it to stop. Ever. He couldn't have stopped it even if he wanted. It was as if a natural force was drawing him closer and closer to her.

Rory wiggled her hips to help him get her out of the skirt he just unbuttoned and the second it hit the floor, she went for the button in his jeans.

More, was the only coherent thought Jess was able to produce. He wanted more. More of her kisses, more of her skin, more of her smell, more of her touches. More of her.

* * *

Jess stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom, the feeling inside was similar to that of sobering up after a hard night of partying. Rory's naked body was laying spread across his, her head resting on his chest, her fingers slowly tracing patterns on his stomach.

It felt wonderful. It felt right. And as long as he kept his mind from wandering to certain places, he could have been completely happy and content just lying there with her. But he had to break the spell.

"What now?" He asked, his voice husky and low. All the reasons as to why the situation they were in was a bad situation came flying into his head as the intoxication he'd felt when seeing her at his doorstep sobered away.

He felt her head turn on his stomach. "What do you mean?" She asked, her lips still so close he could feel them moving against his skin when she talked.

"What happens now?" He clarified his question and she raised her head up to be able to look him in the eyes.

"Well…" She smiled coyly. "I'm pretty exhausted, but if you're up to it, I could maybe muster up some energy reserves"

Jess sighed and softly pushed her off of his chest. "I can't do this, Rory"

She smiled playfully at him. "Of course you can. In fact…" She let her hand slide downwards over his stomach, slowly drawing a pattern from one hip to the other. "…I thought you were doing it great"

He pushed her hand away with an irritated frown. "Not that" He sat himself up, leaning against the headboard. "This. Cheating on your husband"

Sighing, she rolled her eyes and sat up next to him. "Why do you care about him?"

Jess looked at her and raised his eyebrows. "Because he's your husband" He enunciated every word with emphasis.

She nodded. "He is. _My_ husband. So the decision whether or not to cheat on him should be mine to make, not yours"

Jess shook his head. "It doesn't work that way"

"Come on" She moved closer with a sly smile on her face and positioned herself on top of him, straddling his outstretched legs. "You can't tell me you didn't enjoy what we were doing right now?"

He sighed and opened his mouth to protest, to tell her that that was beside the point, that even though they both enjoyed it, it was still wrong. But she silenced him by placing her well-manicured index finger across his lips.

"If you enjoyed it, and I enjoyed it and Logan's making sure to keep himself enjoyed – how could it be wrong?" With that, she leaned forward and gently pressed her lips against the corner of his mouth.

Jess struggled hard with himself. There was a point in his life when this, right here, was everything he ever dreamed about. Having Rory close to him in an intimate situation like this. Although in his dreams she didn't have a husband. In his dreams they shared more than a bed; they shared a life.

He cleared his throat and pushed her back so that he could look her in the eyes. "Why did you come here today?"

His question caught her off guard and that nervous flicker that had once before sent Jess back in time appeared for a split second before she gathered herself and in that instant Jess knew that he didn't stand a chance.

It wasn't the tempting touches or the thousand promises in her eyes. It was those short moments when she showed him a quick glance of someone he'd thought was lost forever that made it impossible to say no.

They weren't like the act she'd put on last time they'd met. No. Those short moments weren't something that she could control. They were slips. They weren't meant for anyone to notice.

"I wanted to see you" She smiled and every last trace of the nervous trait that had passed across her face had vanished.

Without saying anything in response, Jess wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down against his chest. He pressed his lips against her forehead and closed his eyes.

He had no idea what was real and what was part of the character she played. He didn't even know for who she was playing; if it was for him or for everyone else.

But it felt so good lying like this, close together, that nothing – not even the thought of her husband or his own self worth – could force him to give it up.


End file.
